It's now many times that I heard people tell me back at home-" Hey! What happened to your cheerfulness?"
Cheerfulness. Being cheerful. It seems to be a very long time when I was last genuinely cheerful. What happened? Have I changed? Dad keeps on saying- "Why so serious, son?"
No I haven't changed. At least I must say that for keeping my confidence boosted enough. The thing is, I think, is that I am now unable to project what's going on inside me or that I have learnt to mask it with a rather stoic look. It is really bad to realise that I have lost my cheerfulness.
Maybe it's the circumstances. Slogging through engineering and living in an environment and getting exposed to various circumstances and various flavors of people changes the way you look around yourself which in turn can affect oneself in some way or the other. There had been a lots of ups and downs in my life in the past 2.5 years(mainly downs,I'll say) and that maybe a reason for the way I behave. Chattering is one quality that I mainly miss now-a-days. One thing that engineering told me is to "shut up"- speak only when necessary or only when demanded. I now find it difficult(in fact very difficult) to start a conversation with somebody with whom I do not share my interests. Anyways, someone had once told me, I remember- "Tum bahaut bolte ho". I really took that(though unknowingly) and now I am sure that I will not, or rather, can not give him any reason to tell me that.
In the meantime, I am working to improve on my cheerfulness and make myself like before... more merry and more cheerful. Anyways, who doesn't like to be cheerful... at least chicks like cheerful guys, or so am I told.
