Engineering!

Hey,I got something really rib-tickling somewhere and I will put it up on my blog.Though there may be some points which only NITRians can understand but still then its fun reading it.Here it goes.....


1. Some Basic definitions....

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.
Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP.
Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....
Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.
Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" ).
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls do your experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).

2. The Truth about exams....

Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...
Re-verification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the Back exam).

3. An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life

1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

Engineers Anthem:
Hum Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, HO-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum honge all clear ek din.

Top two Engineering Rumors:
1."Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm''
2."Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at BACKPOST"

The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)

Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)
The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table ( to carry out Toppo operations, during Night Duty.)
The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:
Submission Queue
An Engineer's favourite watch:
Bird Watching !
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'

4. Feeling after Completing Engineering:
Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

Predictions for the coming year!

Hey,did I write about this earlier...I no longer use MS Office suiteIf you don't know there exists an alternative to it. Open Office!!! Believe me its worth givign a try and what's good is that it's free... Now you have to buy the products or go for pirated products(which is obviously evil!-dont mind I am now-a-days somewhat into the converstaion between Good and Evil!). Try using it.Free download availabe at OpenOfice.org.

What's the best thing I like about OpenOffice is the ODF(open doucument format type)...which means that it could be edited by any product vendor compiling to the open ISO standards.It also allows to save files in the MS format for the people who are religiously adhered to MS products(which are by no standards less-expect if you forget its inability to let you save in the ODF format).The number of downloads of OpenOffice which are increasing clearly shows that OpenOffice will become very popular in a short time. Now here are the predictions for the coming year-

• PC manufacturers will put OpenOffice on their machines.
• OpenOffice downloads will grow by 50%.
• The ODF format will be supported by Microsoft products after continuing industry support.

Whether or not these predictions come true only time will tell. Till then all you fellas just go and try the OpenOffice...Believe me it will not be a bad experince.The comparison for me goes here- In MS Office you pay and get and use it the way Microsoft likes.But in OpenOffice,you do not pay but get and use the way you like.Today the customer knows he is the king-no one needs to tell him!

Why I quit gmail?

Today if I ask anyone,any dumb person,like you that which is the company today that makes the greatest impact to the online world,then the obvious answer is Google(Did I hear you say Microsoft?-making my conviction even stronger about you). Yes you see it is Google.Everybody now uses gmail,gtalk and you can even find the dead in orkut...fools!

Have you ever used gamil.Your answer probably would-"Oh gmail,thats the best inbox service I have ever seen.I dont pass a single day without logging into it".Some would say-"I feel handicapped without gmail". Some others would say-"Gmail has changed the way I read and send emails today".If you ask me,I will say-"It sucks.And big time."

Over the past few days,I have been irritated by the use of gmail-so much so that I have quit using it.Be patient.This great person will let you know why...Usually the first thing I do when I come online is open hotmail...thats what I use the most.After that I open gmail and after submitting my username and password,I minimize the window and continue my work on hotmail.But as soon as it gets logged on,its window pops...pop!And that is irritation.Why do you think that I have no other more important work than checking my gmail inbox.This always happens and I have sick of it.Arey....I may be at something important at the other website or reading the lovely email from my girlfriend,this bugger bugs me with the pop-up.Its too irritating.I quit gmail.

The next thing I will do after posting this post is to check whether I can redirect emails from my gmail inbox to my hotmail inbox.If I will be successful,then ooh I will be really happy or else I will have to continue using gmail for some more days till I makeshift to my hotmail.

Back at home

Finally after a century...it really seemed like one this time... 3rd semester is over.To speak about exams,I must say I screwed them up.But I hope I get decent grades if not the big ones.

There has been nothing to write much coz I have something to write only when I am at college.Hey,you know what,time stops at my home...and you thought it never did.Idiot!

Well,nothing to write this time...damn.If something happens I will write about it.Till then please dont bug me...

The WebSpace problem...

I was just googling through some pages and came along the site for the Sun Club of IIT Kanpur.I just went through their activities.After seeing the activities they have conducted and are conducting I think we are far behind.They have already started a workshop on Java...though this is not a big deal..we will be starting a workshop on Java next semester.

What hurt me was that they have an internal site for the Sun club.We had also been trying to get some space for us in our intranet but it had not worked the way we have thought it would.But I think we will be getting some space soon.

What's great in the IITK website is that they are uploading the lecture notes of their Java workshop.Great news for us as well...we could re-use those for ours...!!!

More news coming up this Wednesday...

The Divali Dhamaka!

Happy Divali to all of you.I hope you had a blast on this Divali as I had one.

Thi was my first Divali at college(Last year I had gone home for Divali and now I realise I had missed anopther fantastic day at college).

More cannot be said about the celebration...it's kind of private and it will be good for everyone if I dont disclose what things happen on Divali night.The only thing that can be said is that it ended with a lavish dinner at Madhuban which was sponsored by a final year senior.The people who were there were...myself,the final yr senior,Bibhu(Bhai) a third yr guy and three first year guys... well you can now guess where the fun was...

This was the fun part.There was also a dark side of this day which hurt me too much.I came to know the reality of many things and some people whom I had considered dear.I do not want to remind those things all again but I must say I learnt a lesson-One must be very careful while judging people.

But all's well that ends well...and my Divali was a fantastic one...Thanks to Bibhu Bhai...you are the best senior one could ever have!I will miss you throughout my college days and even after that...Be sure to be in contact with me always.

The NetBeans Workshop

We had a workshop on how to use NetBeans IDE(IDE for Java).The presentation and demo was presented by Prabit and me.While Prabit spoke about some features now and then while I was showing how to use NetBeans.We showed how to make a login applet.

Many other activities has happened during this time which had kept me busy.For details see Prabit's blog.

More news coming up...!